~Not What I Planned~

At the beginning of the year, I was dead set on joining the Airforce. I was training every day, studying for the ASVAB, and preparing myself for what was to come; little did I know that I was in for a rollercoaster experience I would never forget.

In Feburary just before my 18th birthday, I walked into the recruiting office for the Airforce; started signing papers and getting everything in order. I had not gone to MEPs yet but my supposed departure date was for March 14th, 2016. It was the week before I was suppose to go to MEPs, and an old friend from highschool (whom I admired very much) started talking to me again. A few days of talking went by and I was forsure that he really liked me and that’s when I decided that maybe joining Airforce was a bad idea; I didn’t know what I would miss if I would have gone. I eventually called my recruiter and told him that I didn’t think I was ready at that point to join and that I would contact him at a later date. Another week had gone by and come to find out, the same guy that was leading me on, didn’t actually like me at all, he just wanted what I could give him, and I ended up wasting a good path in life; or so I thought.

March 14th, 2016, the day I was supposed to leave for bootcamp, my sister and her at the time “fling” set me up with his brother. We spent the entire day together, and two days later I was his girlfriend; I hadn’t dated anyone for quite a while, so this was a big deal! Now, during our relationship, we had our ups and downs just like any other couple, but he was russian (I didn’t find out that I was russian too, until after the relationship was over) and his mother did not approve of me. She did not like that fact that I would not comply to the way that they opperate with religion, family matters, or even their ideal marrige life. A few weeks into this new relationship, my boyfriend brought up the subject of marrige and told me he wanted to get married before the end of summer; thus brought on his asking my parents, choosing the ring, and then talking to his parents. The talk with his parents ended our relationship only a month in, being that they would not give him their blessing if he were to marry me, and he chose to respect his parents and ended things with me.


For the next three months I tried to occupy my time with work, church, writing, music, basically anything that would take my mind off of my, now ex, which I desperately hoped his mother would change her mind, but she never did, and he moved on. Lost in my hopelessness that I would end up alone, that I was never meant to be with anyone, I started working at a mechanic shop, where I met people who gave me wise words for this broken world that we live in. over the last three months I began to find myself outside of peoples opinions of what they think I should be or what I should do, and I started pulling myself out of church; unfortunetly not in a good way, and I feel really bad about that.


Almost four weeks ago from today, I texted my bestfriend,¬†and he told me that he was leaving for the navy in three weeks. Now this is not the casual “bestfriend” that you meet and decide you are going to talk and hangout on occasion and call them your bestfriend, No. This guy has been by my side for the last two years day in and day out, he has supported every single one of my dreams, he has listened to me complain about everything under the moon, and at one point we were working out every single day of the week together. There have been points where our friendship died down and we didn’t really speak or hang out but I knew that he was always one call away. I didn’t talk to him for almost 4 months, and yes, that was mostly my fault, but when I found out that he was leaving in three weeks I started to panic. Little did I know that the two days later when we hung out he was going to give my information to his recruiter.


I got a call the same day to set up an appointment for the fallowing Monday to go and dicuss a new future for myself. I went into the meeting that Monday, and everything went great! So great in fact that on Wednesday I went in to take my ASVAB and the fallowing Monday I went to MEPs. When I went up there I didn’t know that they had been sending people home because it was the end of the fiscal year and they had no new jobs opening yet. On Tuesday they sent me home because they couldn’t find me a job; I sat in the little hallway and prayed, I asked God that if this was what he wanted me to do, then he would open the door in 24 hours and that the first job they offered me I would take it. I went home that night and the next morning I walked into work and at 8:00 A.M. I recieved a call saying that they found me a job and that we had to leave right then and there to get up to MEPs to sign the paper work. It wasn’t what I wanted but it turned out to be so much more than I could ever ask for.


I never planned my life to go this way, and I don’t think most of us do. All I know is that God’s plan for our life will eventually unfold in the way that he wants and it may be painful, it may suck, or it may be great, but we have to trust that what he wants is what is best. Yeah all of my friends are getting engaged and getting married right now, yeah it sucks, but I know that whoever God has for me is going to support me and stand by my side even in the darkest moments, and I cannot wait for that day to come.

~You can make many plans, but the Lord’s purpose will prevail~

Proverbs 19:21