*New Year//New Goal*

“Push Harder than yesterday if you want a new tomorrow”

My entire life I have struggled with my self image, longing to be one of those girls that you see in the magazines with their hip bones protruding from their bodies and every other bone that was seen. Most girls desire to become this girl and have no idea the pain that comes behind it. When I turned 15 I became very sick and lost a shit ton of weight, and I will be extremely honest, I fucking loved it! I was 90 pounds and could eat whatever I wanted, my jawline was chiseled, my thighs were small and I could fit into kids clothes, I didn’t think anything bad would happen to me.

….Fast forward 1 year

1 Month before I turned 16 we moved to a new city and I had no friends, I found a job, and all I did was eat and watch Netflix.

….Fast forward 6 months and thousands of fries later


Today marks 2 years since I first saw this picture and I was completely mortified. My brain was convinced that I was still small but in reality I was a size large shirt and a size 5 in my shorts trying to squeeze into a size 2 because I didn’t want to accept my reality. I decided that I was going to get a gym membership (insert laughing/crying face). For the entire year of 2015 I went to the gym on and off and never actually stuck with it, and that was because I was really fucking lazy and I was just done with not seeing any change.

….Fast forward to 2016!

In January of 2016 I decided I was going to join the Air Force on my 18th birthday and I was willing to put in the work to do it. I ran 6 days a week and went to the weights class at my gym 5 days a week and in 3 weeks I dropped 12 pounds and 3 pant sizes!!! Hell yeah I was excited!


 To be honest I never went through with the Air Force (because of a guy) and now I look back and realize how crazy I was. Lets be real, we have all been there; we start dating someone and we fall off the crazy train heart broken, bitter, tired shitless of trying and most of us just want to sit back have a girls night and watch some Netflix and cry a little. Some of you may say, “oh, you’re a little young to know what that feels like” no, no I am not, I had a guy basically ask me to marry him (including asking my parents permission) and then the next week tell me he no loner wanted to be with me. Yeah it sucks. I was just done at that point and I stopped working out and I ate a shit ton of ice cream and gained some of that weight back.


Starting in August I decided I was going to do a 6 week transformation where I meal prepped, I deleted all of my social media, and I started going to the gym 3 days a week. I will give it to you straight, when you start putting all of your anger or frustrations into something positive, you will go so far into success! My anger motivated me to push myself beyond the limits that I set for myself because I forgot that I would tell myself I couldn’t do something. It is a really very emotional journey.

The steps I took in order to start my process:

  • Create a goal for yourself, start small and work your way up!

    When you set goals for yourself, you in turn are making a decision to make a change that only you can make, no one can make this decision for you, they can help you, but you are the only person that can do this for you.

  • Reward yourself!

    Rewarding yourself is one of the best ways to motivate yourself to get through a week of meal preps and workouts. Go buy yourself a smaller size dress to keep you motivated in order to striving to fit into that dress by the end of the year. It can also be a visual reminder to keep going when you feel like quitting.\

  • Find a YouTuber to watch that focuses on fitness!

    I personally find a lot of my inspiration from YouTubers that I watch that relate their lives to mine. It makes everything worth it when I can visually see their change and the progress and the struggles that they go through on the daily basis and knowing that it gets better! Some of the YouTubers I follow are: Nikki Blackketter, Heidi Somers, Jazmine Garcia, and Bradley Martyn. Go Follow Themmmmm!!!!

  • Find support in your community.

    Finding friends that you can go to the gym with or even a workout partner is so great for making sure you keep going to the gym. When you have someone to hold you accountable and text you to see why you haven’t been coming you begin to realize that the fitness world is more like a family. We get it, we have all been there and we want to see you succeed and not fail. Find someone to share this experience with!

  • Find your Drive

    My last and biggest piece of advice is to ‘find your drive’ or ‘find your reason’ as to why you want to make this change. Maybe you were called names because you weren’t as skinny as the rest of your friends or you are struggling with your health and need to get back to a healthy place or maybe your just at your lowest point and you need something solid to hold on to, to help you realize that your life is meaningful and that one change can really make all the difference. So find what lights your fire and let it drive you and you will be UNSTOPPABLE!!

You are worth more than Silver and Gold!!

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